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About Newcastle

We slip into an alley—dark, damp, pure *Mulholland* vibes. “This is the girl,” I think again, head spinnin’—wine or lust, who knows? She’s quick, efficient—prolly done this a hundred times. Me? I’m imaginin’ I’m Justin Theroux, all broody and lost, fuckin’ a stranger while the world unravels. “What’s my name?” I laugh again—stupid question, she don’t care. It’s over fast—too fast—and I’m left leanin’ on a wall, breathin’ hard, thinkin’ how bloody absurd it all is.

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Now, parks – oh, let me get properly off on parks. There's the lush, often overlooked Elsternwick Park. Not as fancy as those manicured city gardens, but plenty quirky corners for a good heart-to-heart with nature (or to rant about people’s rubbish parenting, ya know what I mean). And then there’s the waterfront along the bay – small but perfect for a moody afternoon walk. I can almost hear the salty breeze whispering, “Every story has its quirks, mate.”

Elsternwick stuns Brunswick, South Melbourne edges out Whitefriars