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One time, I swear, I saw this lady, all sparkly, and I thought, “Is she a mermaid?” Nope, just doin’ her thing. Made me kinda sad, y’know? Like, why’s she gotta hide? World’s tough, man. Got me mad, too – why’s everythin’ so complicated? “We are not animals!” I yell, like in the movie, but nobody listens. I’m just Patrick, after all.

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So yeah, if you're visiting, wander these roads, chat with the locals at the park, and maybe stroll by the river trickle. Enjoy the donut shop. And remember: "Anyone can cook." Or in this case, anyone can find love. Peace.

Train vanishes after being left unattended at Ellenbrook Station during first test run this morning