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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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My favorite spot? Crazy little Hideaway Café on Neon Lane. It’s hidden in a back alley, pop music on low, cheap coffee that wakes you up to reality. I’ve seen feuding families, couples making up, and even that one guy mumbling “I’m lost in translation” like it was a mantra. The irony, hah! Sometimes, I think, if these walls could talk, they’d tell better stories than I do in my therapy sessions.

That's one expensive car crash: Driver writes off his friend's $400,000 Lamborghini in late night smash