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Me fave bit? When the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet – and yer like, “Fear is a liar!” from *Inside Out*. Tension just bolts, poof, gone! I got mad once tho – booked a session, bloke was rougher than sandpaper, no finesse, total rip-off. Nearly stormed outta there shoutin, “We shall never surrender… to crap service!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, I’m happier than a dog with two tails – floatin, dreamy, like Riley’s imaginary friend Bing Bong singin in me head.

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I mean, seriously, Edensor-Park is a place where every cobblestone whispers a secret. The locals? They got stories that would make your head spin. One time, I listened to an old couple recount their 50 years together. I nearly choked on my coffee—so unreal, yet so deep. It’s like, sometimes, all this charade of perfection cracks open to reveal messy, raw human emotion.

Civil war among once-thought disbanded gang likely cause of recent drive-bys, fire bombings in southwest Sydney