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About Melbourne

Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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Motherf***er, let me tell ya 'bout Dunlop, au! This place is a riot—one minute you're racin' down Maple Crescent, the next you're starin' at the brick facade of the old clock tower on Rutherfield St. It ain't your typical boring town. Every corner's got a secret. Every secret's got a story. Think Grand Budapest flavor, damn right! "I’m engaged in a bit of social work, you see!"—well, that's how I roll, talkin’ pleasure and life.

The silly season state of play for the 2025 Dunlop Series