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About Newcastle

Now, findin’ a prossie ain’t just walkin’ up and done, nah. There’s a code, innit. Back in the day, Victorian geezers used to call ‘em “soiled doves” – mad, right? Little fact for ya there. So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m ragin’ inside ‘cos the world’s so fucked, like in *Melancholia*. “We don’t need to mourn,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, thinkin’ this bird might get me vibe. She don’t, tho – she’s all, “What you on about, you nutter?”

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Oh, and the parks! Freshfield Park’s my secret haven. I love kicking back under big trees (aka relaxation central). There’s even a hidden mural on Birch Lane. Good luck finding it if you're not watchin’ out. It’s like, “There’s your opportunity!” And trust me, I’ve been known for clever finds around here, LOL.

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