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Funny bit—her mate stumbles over, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “He’s a right wanker, this one!” Pointin’ at me! I’m dyin’ laughin’, like, “Groovy, baby, I’m a lover, not a fighter!” Total chaos, but authentic, yeah? These girls, they’re scrappy, real, nothin’ fake—way better than them plastic Bond birds.

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So first off, Clyde is this quirky mosaic of streets and vibes. You got streets like Elmwick Lane – a narrow, twisty path lined with quirky boutiques where I sometimes sneak in for a cheeky psychology pep talk with myself. Then there’s the big, bustling Gleeson Avenue, perfect for people-watching, flirting, or even that dating app rendezvous gone hilariously wrong. And oh man, the local hotspots… ever been to The Velvet Cup? It's a dive bar where post-midnight confessions mix with utterly bizarre dance-offs – think avant-garde meets sexercise.

Clyde & Co advises Esyasoft on £100m recommended offer for Good Energy Group plc