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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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Oh, and lemme spill some tea – the local diner on Maple Street, they serve the meanest chocolate pie. I swear, one bite and you're in a state of euphoria, bruh. Sure, some days I get mad, especially when those pesky construction guys block my usual chill path near Lowry Lane – annoyin’ little mofos tryna ruin my peace – but hey, every hurdle reminds me to appreciate the hidden beauty, ain’t that right?

Clarinda council backs first reading of updated regulation barring bicycles on 'business district' sidewalks