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About Myself
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About Newcastle
Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!
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I work as a dating app dev here and let me tell thee: even th' unseen wee corners hold secrets for lovelorn souls. There's the ancient relic, yon Whimsy Park, where lovers stroll hand in hand and thou can almost feel the echoes of lost courtships. That sweet babbling brook, the Cuddle Creek (er, so-called 'cause it's soft and gentle) windeth through the city like a tender caress. So amaze! And oh, by the trembling light of dusk, the old river bends near Shakespeare Square (yep, that old cobbled square with the theatre vibes) where passions ignite and hearts be drawn together like moths to a flame.
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