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About Melbourne

I reckon the Escort’s got bare charm, yeah? Them boxy Mk1s – ugly but sexy, like ya nan in a tracksuit. Fun fact, bruv – they made like 2 million of ‘em, mental! Used to see ‘em everywhere, now they’re rare, and I’m gutted. Makes me wanna cry, “The hand that strikes!” – Haneke vibes again, punishment for lettin’ ‘em die out. Shoulda kept ‘em alive, innit!

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Now, let’s not skip over the odd alleys of Dockside Lane. Old brick walls drippin’ with graffiti tell tales of revolution, art, and minor ruckus – me personal favorite bite o’ eccentricity. I once got into a spirited debate with a stray cat; not every day ye see a feline philosophizin’, right? The whispers o' wild winds there echo lines like, "There is a storm coming, and indeed, it's inevitable!" Aye, a bit mad, but it's the spice o' life.

Caversham United goalkeeper’s fund hits £4k mark