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About Melbourne

We’re chattin’, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who built her a table once—shitty table, wobbly as hell, but sweet, ya know? I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’ I’d make her a sturdy one, show off my skills. “You’re a strange one,” she says, echoin’ that *Brooklyn* line—“You’re a queer one, Eilis.” I’m happy tho—somethin’ real in this mess. Ain’t just a transaction, it’s a story. Still, I’m watchin’ her close—fool me twice, I’m done.

INTRODUCING MICHELLE

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I’ve had my fair share of calamitous nights here. One time, some numbskull strutted into my parlour all high and mighty, complainin’ about his work life, and I nearly lost my cool – not my fault if he’s a miserable tosser! How many times have I yelled "Idiot sandwich!" in frustration? More than I'd like, too many! And why? Because sometimes, Caulfield-South gives ya moments when ya’re about to smash somethin’.

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