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But real talk, escorts, dey’re pros at actin’ – fake smiles, fake laughs, like, “Everything seems strange and different,” ya? Dat’s da film vibe, all blurry, who’s real, who’s not? Gets me thinkin’, maybe I’d be a crap escort, too grumpy, eh? “Gru, smile!” Nah, I’d scare ‘em off, heh!

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Kingsway is the heart of Calwell. Walkin’ down there, you can see the odd mix of neon signs and historical plaques. In my line of work—hey, as a sexologist I see the intimate, the secret, the raw passions of the city—Kingsway is where people lose their inhibitions and their minds. The bars around Maple Street? Oh, man, they buzz with wild stories. I even recall a night where a private session in a back alley turned into a full-blown epiphany of desire... or was it madness? Whatever…

Melbourne seat of Calwell highlights Labor woes as Gaza pain galvanises Muslim voters