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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Oh my gawd, lemme tell ya 'bout Boambee-East (au) – it's craaaazy, y'know? I live here as a women's counselor, and each day is like a weird, emotional rollercoaster – much like that movie, Synecdoche, New York – “I am terribly sorry, but I'm afraid that the door's too heavy.” I was like, "IS MAYONNAISE AN INSTRUMENT??" LOL

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