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About Canberra

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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So pack your bags, buddy – come see Ballarat. You might hear me asking, “Who am I to you? Who are you?” in a mad daze of wonder under the twilight. And remember, sometimes yer just meant to live in the moment, just like a quirky scene outta Tropical Malady. Peace, love, and a whole lotta Ballarat spirit!

AFL: English lesson for Port as Dogs strike gold in Ballarat