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Thing is, I’ve seen it—blokes payin’ for company, not just a quick shag. Reminds me of *Her* again—“You always make me laugh,” he tells that AI tart. Escorts do that too, playin’ the part, makin’ ya feel less like a lonely sod. Once knew this one gal, right, worked the docks—swore she’d bedded a pirate who paid her in gold teeth. Gold bloody teeth! Swear she showed me one, all shiny, said it was her “retirement fund.” Made me cackle, but damn, that’s clever, innit?

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Oh, and the local park! Centennial Park is like, the heartbeat of the suburb. You can sit on the worn-out benches and watch kids run wild – their laughter echoing down the trees, kinda like the hopeful persistence in The Pianist’s tunes, “I never wanted to be a prodigy, just real.” It’s raw and real here.

Your guide to two-up, and the footy in the Illawarra this Anzac Day