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So yeah, I’m ramblin’—prostitutes, movies, whatever. I’d probably suck at findin’ one, too nervous, too loud. “This is ridiculous!” I’d shout, stompin’ off. But if I did? Man, I’d haggle like Malik tradin’ cigs in jail—“Ten euros, take it!”—and then brag, “Pretty, pretty good deal!” Total chaos, total me. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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Oh my gawd, hun, lemme tell ya 'bout Altona (au)! So I’ve been hangin' here for years – yes, for YEARS – and lemme spill all the tea, babe. You gotta stroll down Royal Avenue, feelin’ that seaside breeze near Altona Meadows Park. Sweetie, it's gorgeous! And then there's Point Cook Road nearby where I used to get my massage clients relax after a long day. I mean, seriously, these streets, man, they're like a cozy hug—warm and a lil sassy, ya know?

Landlord puts Altona Meadows home under the hammer amid increased taxes