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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, lookin’ for a quick shag, and it’s mental! Peeps be lyin’ ‘bout their height—bloke says 6 foot, turns up 5’2”, bruv! Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos they is fibbers! One time, I met this bird, proper fit, but she ghosted me after one drink. Gutted, I was. Made me rage, like, why bother? But then, next night, bam—met a geezer who was well up for it. Happy days, innit?

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Then there's Chapel Grove Park. It's a lil oasis. Kids laugh, old folks sit. But man, sometimes I walk there, and I’m thinking, "What are we even doin’?" Sure, pretty, pretty good vibes, but then it all be so heavy. I spent a moody day there after a tough counsseling session, feelin' like some lost soul, kinda like in that flick Holy Motors. Look, life's a circus.

Driver smashes car into Albion Park Rail tree and bolts from scene