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Me fave bit? When they whisper, “Relax, Cap’n,” an’ I’m driftin’ like Eilis dreamin’ o’ home—“Home’s not a place, it’s a feelin’.” That’s sexual-massage done right—feelin’ alive, not just kneaded like dough! Tho, I’ll admit, I’ve giggled like a fool when they hit a ticklish spot—argh, can’t help it! So, mate, if ye try it, find a good’un, not some scurvy dog with cold mitts. Worth the coin, or I’m a landlubber! Savvy?

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Oh, and you gotta see the old tennis courts at Woonona Park – literally see ‘em as my mini stage for crazy life chats. I set up my chill sessions there, laughing and spillin’ life’s dirty beans – sometimes I even mimic that scene when Remy runs wild in the kitchen, shouting gibberish, like “yous workin’ miracles, dude!” People stared but who cares? Pure, honest chaos, baby!

Woonona carpenter says break-ins all too common along 'crackhead highway'