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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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Now, runnin' a massage parlor, ya see, puts you in on all the hot whispers and hidden drama of these streets. I’ve had a few oddballs drop by, and lemme tell ya, sometimes I get the shivers up my spine – like that one time, I remember, when a regular spat her stories about the eerie sounds near the abandoned mill off Quarry Road. Had me mad and shakin' like a leaf, I swear! But mostly, it’s just a feel-good vibe, reminding me of how we all search for that bit of magic.

Man jailed over Westmeadows pub robbery and siege in Melbourne's north