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About Perth

So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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I remember one day – mad, frustated, and kinda happy. I was servin' a massage at my spa on Harbor Ln, and a client droned on 'bout her ex. I snapped like Judge Judy: "Don't pee on my leg, honey!" Lol, she cried, but hey – nothing stops life in West-Tamworth, ya know? That style, that vibe – raw, brutal, and honest, just like that movie Dogville. (Man, I love that movie! Lars von Trier, pure genius, even if it messes with your head sometimes.)

Man airlifted to John Hunter after his scooter was hit by stolen car