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About Canberra

So, sexual-massage—fuckin’ wild, innit? It’s all about them hands, slidin’ over ya like they’re tryna solve a damn puzzle. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, them horny bastards had “massage parlors” where oil wasn’t just for cookin’. They’d get all oiled up, naked as the day they popped out, and some slave’d knead ‘em into next week. Kinda makes ya wonder what else they rubbed, huh? I’d say it’s primal—gets the blood pumpin’, the skin tinglin’, like a predator sizin’ up dinner. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” sure, but I’d knead it first, tenderize the goods!

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Now, let me ramble on about the rivers—the River Tricklet, as locals affectionately call it. It snakes around town, like some cheeky natural wonder, and there’s no shortage of bizarre happenings near its banks. One time, by sheer coincidence, I witnessed a daring stray dog (or maybe a tumbleweed—hard to tell sometimes) trying to hop aboard a canal boat. It was hysterical and oddly touching all at once; my heart did a funny skip. Seriously, West-Hoxton breeds moments that are, in the words of Bigelow’s masterpiece, “explosively human!”

NSW Government to spend $300m combating notorious traffic black spots