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About Newcastle

Sexual-massage got quirks tho—some use feathers, some go full WWE with elbows. Me? I’d kill for a deep-tissue sesh, but nah, can’t pick who deserves that fate, Clarice… rules, ya know. Still, it’s personal—gets in yer head, all slippery and dark. “You still wake up sometimes, don’t you?”—fuck yeah, I do, dreamin’ of that perfect rubdown! Hella creepy, hella fun—try it, but don’t blame me if ya get hooked!

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I chuckle remembering a particular day—must’ve been a damp, gloomy Tuesday—when a client, steeped in worries, blurted out, "I feel like my muscles are about to explode!" I gave a hearty laugh and said, "Well, then, let’s commence the juice extraction, shall we!" Haha, classic me! Even the old pub on Birch Lane echoed with his amused snort. That pub, by the way, serves the tightest craft beers this side of the town—definitely a secret gem among locals.

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