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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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I must confess, when the city's in a funk, when storms roll thick, it makes me mad! Like, come on! But it also makes me appreciate the little gritty beauties—kinda like the sparks of life in dire straits. And hey, West-Footscray? It's full of surprises: that cheeky laneway in Footscray Road, a secret mural tucked by the old warehouse in Buckley St. They don't show up on guides, but trust me, they're magic.

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