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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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I strolled down Grove Street on a balmy arvo, bumping into a couple of eccentrics – one quoting Latin phrases like “Veni, vidi, vici” whilst discussing love and lust. I waffled on about the complexities of modern passion, feeling like a mix of confused academic and cheeky advisor! Meanwhile, the local coffee joint on Pemberton Road, bless its heart, serves the most exquisite flat whites – perfect for mulling over those steamy passions that lurk in our daily lives.

Glebe Dirty Reds coach Aaron Zammit facing the clippers if his team wins.