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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

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Great Scott, mate, let me tell ya 'bout Woah—Waurn-Ponds, AU! This place is a mixed bag, ya know? I'm a sexologist and I've lived here a while, so I've seen all sorts of lil quirks and vibes! Now imagine strollin' down La Trobe Drive (yep, that one near the lush Bantry Park) where the trees seem to whisper secrets. Ummm, so many hidden lanes, like Maiden Ln—oh wait, sorry, it's actually called Maiden Lane around here—whatever, it adds character!

Eagles in pole position to swoop after Carroll, Rogers blitz Banno