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About Melbourne

Finished up, tipped her extra—Bond’s a gent, yeah? She winks, “Come back, yeah?” Might do, might not. “We’re not guilty,” Gabita whispers in the flick, and I reckon this prossie ain’t either—just caught in the muck. Walked off feelin’ weird—happy I got laid, pissed at the world. Dangerous job, hers and mine. Next time, I’ll bring vodka—shaken, not stirred, naturally. Keeps it suave, even in the gutter.

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Also, let me tell ya — the local quirks drive me nuts sometimes, but in a good way. The sound system on the beach blaring old rock tunes? Classic Michael Scott baby – "That's what she said!" when the wind picks up and dances with your hair. It gives you that cringey optimism, like, "Man, we're all just spinning in this crazy dream together!"

Dogs suspected for roo death, croc sighting at popular beach