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What gets me mad? The fakers—catfishin’ punks. Pretendin’ they’re Brad Pitt, but it’s some dude in his mom’s basement. “Time slips away,” like in the movie, and you’re wastin’ it on a lie! Pisses me off. But when it works—hoo boy, it’s magic. Met a gal once—online thing—sweet as pie, eyes like—well, “a secret locked away.” We didn’t last, but damn, that night? Fireworks.

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Okay, listen up. Tarneit’s a weird mix—like Mulholland Drive without the red curtains. I mean, seriously, "everybody lies," so don't trust the hype around these suburbs. I'm a spa owner here, so I see things more than most. I've been here forever—Tarneit, man, it's not just a name, it's a vibe.

Tarneit station to get hit with bus reform protest