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But real talk, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how tired she looked—eyes like that old monk’s lake, deep and heavy. “Every man’s a burden,” she says, and I’m like, damn, that’s dark. Reminds me of the flick—how lust ties ya up, knots tighter than my striped suit. I’m thinkin, “Babe, you need a vacay, not another john.” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d teleport her to Maui if I could—poof! Gone!

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My spa’s clients always ask why I love Tarneit. I tell 'em: “Hey, everybody lies” (yep, straight House style). They don’t see the scars, the little corners everyone ignores—the stray graffiti on Bridge Street, the rundown but charming old community center on Taylor Avenue.

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