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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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Now, let’s dish: Some parts of Sylvania, like the old industrial zone down by Riverbend (yeah, the river is real – no fancy made-up crap), make me fume. Some streets are so grubby, I swear there’s a ghost of a past life lurking. But its grit, weirdly enough, inspires some of my best work with women (trust me, I've been around the block). Clients often whisper about the river – a meandering beast – that reflects so many truths, brutal truths, just like the movie, ya know? “The labyrinths of our hearts,” I tell 'em, and damn if that ain’t right.

Double the study sessions for these HSC twins