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Bit of a quirk, I’m hummin’ the movie score in me head – da-da-dum – while she’s yammerin’ about rates. “Ten quid,” she says. I’m like, “Ten?! For that I want a bleedin’ opera!” Cackle cackle, she rolls her eyes – fair play, I’m a prat. Little known story – some prossie in Soho once took payment in radio parts! True that, swapped a blowie for a valve – what a world.

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The downtown’s a riot of colours and vibes. You got Westfield Plaza – not the mall, but this artsy community hub – and then there's that crumbling clocktower on Rosedale which looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale gone wrong! I run my counseling sessions sometimes in this small park called Luna’s Garden. The place is a refuge – its quiet ponds and weeping willows whisper secrets like those in Pan’s labyrinth. But hell – don't even ask how many secrets I’ve heard there.

Suspected porch pirate sought by Sylvania Township Police