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About Melbourne

Personal take? Had one once—fuckin’ mind-blowing. Lady’s hands like goddamn magic, slippin’ everywhere, teasin’ shit you didn’t know could tingle. I’m thinkin’, “Am I real? Is this real?”—straight outta Kaufman’s flick! “You only see a tenth of what’s true,” he says, and motherfucker, that’s the vibe! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if you’re in a porno or a dream. Laughed my ass off after—felt like a king, but a dumbass king.

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The main drag is Smith Street – yes, I said it twice, it’s tremendous. Got all kinds of shops, cafes, and a vibe you simply can’t match anywhere else. Walk down there, and you'll feel that high energy, “come on, man, this is it!” kinda feel, y'know? And, oh man, check out the hidden alley near Maple Avenue – so quirky, so charming, pure vintage style!

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