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About Newcastle

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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I must confess, I get a bit tired. When customers decline massage tips, I get a lil cranky. Sorry, but it happens, right? Lol. Anyway, the overall vibe is unbeatable. The city streets, the little cafés on Market Plce, and even our local library, where I once accidentally snoozed – classic me!

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