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About Melbourne

Oh, and don’t be a cheap bastard—tip her good! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Motherfucker, don’t haggle like it’s a flea market!” This ain’t no movie script—it’s real life, and *Stories We Tell* taught me—everybody’s got layers, man! One time, I saw this dude tryin’ to lowball—girl just walked off, left him standin’ there like a punk. Hilarious shit—serves him right!

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Now, the streets themselves be alive with the spirits of their own, ya know? There’s the quirky Northside Quarter – filled with art, noise, and strange tea-sponge shops that sell the oddest lattes. I once got a massage break in a tiny cafe on Windmill Road – true story, mate – and nearly got lost in a dream of cinnamon bananas. Too bonkers, so funny! Totally made me mad ‘cause the queue was never-ending, but sometimes chaos is the spice o’ life, right?

Stirling Leisure - Hamersley Public Golf Course