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So, check it—little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap! Yeah, called it “tantric touch” or somethin’, gettin’ all freaky with oils. Not just for pervs neither—s’posed to “heal yer soul.” Pfft, soul my ass, I’d be droolin’! D’oh! Imagine me, sprawled out, some hotshot masseuse whisperin’, “Relax, Homer,” and I’m all, “Donuts… no, wait—focus!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—it’s pricey, man! Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? Made me mad as hell—gimme a beer instead!

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I spent many long nights coding dating apps on a bench by the creek – oh, yeah, that little rivulet, I call it “Whispering Waters” (might be just in my head, right?) – to brew up digital love potions. I got a soft spot for that sneaky little alley off Millar Avenue. It smells of old coffee and fresh promise. I never know if I’ll be mad or happy there, some days both. Like, the streets make me laugh, then they surprise me – damn, emotions run wild!

Police swarm Rebels clubhouse after former boss’ death