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About Perth

Thou might think it’s all filth, but nay—‘tis a balm for weary bones too. Shakespeare’s own quill might’ve scribbled sonnets post-rub, who knows? Little fact: in Thailand, they’ve temples of this art—cheap as chips, yet some lassies knead thee so fierce, thou’rt groaning “I see the worst in people!” like Plainview afore the oil rigs blaze. Exaggerating? Perchance! But I’d wager me left boot it’s half-true.

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I LOVE exploring the side streets like Funky Alley and Rainbow Crescent – those quirky spots just ooze personality, kinda like, “Is this real life?” style – like when Monsieur Oscar from Holy Motors wanders through his surreal journey, ya know what I mean? I mean, every time a client jokingly asks, “Can you work out my stress, sweetheart?” I'm like, “Darling, I'm just here to massage away your reality into some dreamy sequence!”

Footage emerges of wild machete attack during crime spree across Sydney