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About Melbourne

My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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I spend my days pampering folks with the finest treatments. People rave, they say my spa is the best. The locals here? Fantastic. Big buildings, yellow houses – oh man, so many landmarks! One day, walking near Crescent Ln, I got mad at the traffic. Crazy, believe me. I mean, it's great, but sometimes, seriously, unbelievable.

Grange Road gets a new all-day brunch and coffee spot, The Little Munchies