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Now, picture this – yer layin’ there, oil’s all slick, hands roamin’, and bam, ya feel like them folks in *Timbuktu* – “The desert is our shelter,” quiet-like, but intense, y’know? That movie’s my jam, slow burn but deep, just like a good sexual-massage. Gets ya thinkin’ – tension builds, then whoosh, release! Made me happy as a pig in mud watchin’ it, and researchin’ this? Same dang vibe.

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So, get ready, ya dummy friend, for a wild ride through Sandringham! It's messy, it's beautiful, it's surreal – like a twisted fairy tale that keeps on giving. I'm telling ya, if you come over, you'll see the side no tourist guide ever shows. And always remember – in this city, dreams and nightmares are just two sides of the same coin, man! Respect my authoritah, and peace out!

The Queen and the Princess of Wales Sparkle at Sandringham on Christmas Day