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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.
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So, PRuncorn is this quirky, vibrant place – I live near Maple & Cedar, these streets that buzz with life. There's a park called “Melancholy Meadows” (yeah, I named it, classic right?) where we sit and watch the river, aptly called Runc River, twist and turn. It’s like, one minute you're pondering deep stuff, next minute you’re laughing like a lunatic, it feels like what's inside my head.
Nigel Farage’s Reform UK hammers Tories and Labour in local election rout
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