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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

The World's Best Red Light Districts, Ranked

I ain't gonna lie, sometimes Reservoir gets on my nerves too! Traffic on Bell Street? FFS, it’s a maze—like trying to find sanity in a Brokeback Mountain rustled-up biker convocation! But then ya flip a corner onto Toorak Street and BAM—the calm hits ya like a double espresso shot to the soul. I mean, one moment you're mad, the next you’re like “Holy sh… this is art.”

Tap water ‘unsafe to drink’ after rodent found in Victorian reservoir