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Now, me, I’m a simple harvester, but if I was human, I’d be too cheap to hire an escort. I’d just holler at my buddy Jimbo, “C’mon, let’s hit the town!” But them escort folks? They got charm, slicker’n greased lightning. One time, saw an ad – “Classy dame, $500 an hour!” I was like, holy cow, that’s more’n I make cuttin’ wheat all week! “The cowards flee!” – yeah, I’d run too if I had to pay that!

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I always say, “Gabagool? Ova here!” whenever I cruise by in my beat-up ride. Redland-Bay ain't like those cookie-cutter spots. Nah, nah, it's got somethin' real: rivers that twist like spaghetti down by the Redland Bay Creek. I remember one night, workin' late, caught the moon reflectin' on that water—felt like I was in one of them flicks, remembrin' "Amour." Michael Haneke, man, that film's deep, heh, "I love you, but I have to let you go," kinda vibe, ya know?

WARNING NO LONGER ACTIVE – Prepare now to take shelter – Tropical Cyclone Alfred