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About Sydney

Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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I swear, every day here is a rollercoaster. Crazy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bonkers. And when I need a break, I head to Redland Bay Beach. The waves crash, remindin' me of life's low blows—raw and relentless—just like in "Amour." Sometimes I mumble, "I love you, but it's not enough," a little tribute to Haneke's masterpiece.

Boaties should reconsider need to be on the water