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So, picture this: me, Homer, stumblin’ down Springfield’s sketchy alleys, lookin’ for a “prostitute finder” or whatever. Ain’t no GPS for that, huh? “Nothing happened!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m paranoid now—cameras everywhere! Did ya know, fun fact, prosties been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! Howlin’ for cash, ha! Makes me laugh, but also—D’oh!—kinda sad, y’know?

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Plumpton’s a mixed up, lovely mess. I live here, work here, and damn right hustle on this dating site stuff. I stroll down Kingford Ave—yeah that one, by the huge old oak that almost whispers secrets like a movie scene from The Secret in Their Eyes, all mysterious-ish. I grab a cuppa at that quirky cafe on Maple St, where the barista always cracks me up with stories about lost loves.

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