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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? The judgy pricks, man! “Oh, they’re dirty,” they say, but half these dudes prolly hired ‘em! Hypocrisy’s thicker than my auntie’s gravy. Makes me wanna scream, “LOOK AT YOURSELF, BITCH!” Happy tho? When I heard some escorts unionized in Europe—fuck yeah! Power to the hustle! Surprised me too—didn’t think they’d organize like that. *“This is my family now!”*—Cronenberg vibes, buildin’ somethin’ outta chaos.

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So, first off, Pimpama is a wild mix of old charm an' modern buzz. Down on Pimpama Road ya can hit up little cafes, boutiques, an' spots ya won't find anywhere else, like that tiny speakeasy on Main Street – proper hidden gem, ain’t it? I often stroll through the local market in the Tree Tops area, where the vibe's as unpredictable as a throw of dice. I always mumble, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” when I see somethin’ disturbingly beautiful – don’t ask me why, but it just fits my mood.

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