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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Right, so not every day is perfect. I've had days when the constant tourist buzz made me mad, ya know? I mean, sometimes I wanted to hide in a deserted alley behind the local diner on Sunshine Street. But then I'd recall that every moment is worth the ride, messy though it may be. Even got some hidden graffiti in the underpass by Industrial Road that makes me chuckle – it's art, it's rough, it's honest.

Police hunt man who fled stolen car after crashing, injuring man, in Pimpama, Gold Coast