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About Melbourne

I get all tickled thinkin’ ‘bout it, but lemme be real—some stuff ‘bout it makes me madder than a wet hen. Like when fellas think it’s just a quick ticket to somethin’ naughty, no respect for the art of it. Sugar, it ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’! It’s ‘bout connection, feelin’ the heat, lettin’ go slow-like. Done right, it’s sweeter than peach cobbler. Done wrong? Well, it’s a dang mess—sticky hands and no soul.

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The city’s got these parks that just whisper secrets to ya. My fave is Calvert Park – it's got green grass, shady trees, a little creek that purls along like nature's own melody. I often set up my massage table there when the sun hits just so, you know? The water, the breeze, it’s like every muscle in me relaxes – "it's all just laughter and echoes," as Lars von Trier might muse in his own cryptic way.

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