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About Canberra

It’s all about the vibe, see. You’re lying there, starkers, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and it’s like Anton Chigurh’s in the room – “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” – except it’s your dignity, not your life. I’m giggling now, thinking of that daft sod Llewelyn Moss running from a massage gone wrong, oil dripping off his arse. Priceless! Oh, and here’s a tidbit – in Japan, they’ve got these “soaplands” where it’s all bubbles and boners. Been around since the ‘50s, sneaky bastards dodging laws. Surprised me, that – thought they were all about sushi and robots.

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And oh! The river, my precious! It’s not grand like the mighty Brandy, but the little trickling creek near Logans Road, oh so sneaky it is, like sadness creeping through your heart sometimes – "Sadness, joy, anger, fear!" I proclaim like a true inside out fan, yes precious!

My suburb is so defiantly untrendy, it feels like even the Bunnings is trying to escape