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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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Hi-ho, friend! I'm so glad you're coming to Newington (au)! Let me tell ya, this place is somethin’ else. I’ve been here for years, runnin’ my little spa on Riverside Ave—yeah, that’s where I work wonders on achy muscles, ya know? The streets are buzzin’, like Camden Street groovin’ with life and quirky cafes that smell like freshly brewed coffee every mornin’.

Newington College chairman clocks up 17 years (and counting)