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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Mmm, memories... I was coding on my laptop on Crescent Hill one breezy afternoon, and bam!—I saw two lovebirds meet over coffee at that quirky little café on Fairview Avenue. I literally almost dropped my sandwich—heck, I nearly spilled my latte, haha!

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