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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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Gollum-like, I’d hiss “The Master, yes, master,” and remind myself, “That is the way the world works, my precious!” Here, every face tells stories – how families grow and crumble. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of a couple holding hands at the small playground near Magnolia Lane – such tender moments, oh, it rips my heart sometimes, but it mends too, yesss.

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