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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Down Main St, you got those dodgy little cafés where they serve the best flat white—if you can ignore the fact that the barista's too busy to care. I usually traipse over to Shannons Lane. Yes, spelt S-H-A-N-N-O-N-S, not that you care. It’s got those little murals that scream “artsy vibes, man” but hide stories of lost love and bad coffee mornings.

Moe says he’s Canadian but wouldn’t stop vote on Saskatchewan separating from Canada